Bummed

I think I've finally hit that part in our journey where the loneliness has finally sunk it.  Don't get me wrong, I have been thoroughly enjoying the adventures we've been able to have.  I mean, who can object to sitting on a beach for hours collecting shells, to seeing dolphins swimming just off shore, to watching your kids learn to swim, to seeing a space shuttle launch, to just being able to spend more time as a family?  Certainly not me.

I think what finally hit me is the reality is that until we settle down somewhere for an extended period of time, I'm not going to have any of those friend-connections that I crave.  Yes, I have Facebook, but lately I've realized just how superficial it really is.  I want to be able to get together with someone and chat for hours.  That isn't really possible when you live on the road like I do, so I'm trying to make-do with what Facebook has to offer (quick glimpses into people's lives).

I think what makes this even harder is that for all practical purposes, I've been in this state for about a year.  When we were getting ready to move last year, I think I started to distance myself from my local friends in preparation for making the separation easier.  When I went back to the area for a while to regroup (aka. get our camper ready), I didn't make an effort to reconnect with many of my friends because I knew we'd be leaving again.

I am a rather emotional person.  I am the person who cries at movies, weddings, funerals, and I'll admit it on occasion TV shows and commercials.  That has also made me a rather guarded person because I don't want to get hurt when things change (either because someone is moving or we have changed and have different interests).

A friend of mine who has moved across the globe many times told me that the loneliness will always hit (even if you make a few new friends right away), but that it will go away after a bit.  I'm just hoping that it happens soon.